Review
by Finbar,
The Book Over-Analyser (aged 12)
The
Once and Future King (1958) by T.H. White
(often
available in Desire Books' young readers section)
Warning:
If you don't like it when people only read 100 pages into a book and
then write a review about it, then you better click off this webpage
or throw away this printout right now. Some people's rule is that
you can't judge something until you finish it. My rule is that you
can judge what you have seen, read or heard of that story as long
as you acknowledge that there are parts of it that you haven't read
and the book could get astronomically better. This is also the case
with my experiences with the Arthurian legend.
Alright,
I'm just going to come right out and say it. I hate the Arthurian
legend. It's not because it is a particularly bad story or anything.
It's just because that I really do not think that it still holds relevance
in today's society, whereas other classics that still do hold relevance
are only known by underground nerd groups desperately trying to make
what they love so dear more well known. Yet stories that are completely
irrelevant to today's society ride high like the Arthurian legend.
This angers me to no end.
So
now that we have the fact that I automatically disliked this book
and that I have a completely ignorant judgement out of the way, let's
dig in.
As
you would have probably guessed from the overhead rant this book is
basically a retelling of the Arthurian legend in all its overrated
glory but I have to tell you I got 110 pages of 614 in and he was
still just about 12 when I stopped so I am guessing that this book
skims over most non-adventurous moments with the exception of his
childhood.
The
characters in this book are a horribly mixed bag and, like this entire
book, analysing them was like searching for engagement rings in a
sewage treatment plant. Although 90% percent of the characters where
bland, annoying or unlike-able the ones that were good were amazing.
The stand out to me is the king of the fishes (don't ask) and Archimedes,
Merlyn's owl. Both these characters only get about a paragraph each
however in that small time I grew to love them both. In contrast I
found Arthur himself to be a generally boring character and nothing
more than a cliché goody hero and his childhood sidekick to
be a selfish and overly proud idiot.
In
terms of who takes place in the story, the gang's all here in a Middle
Ages legend Christmas special. Merlyn, Sir Lancelot, Robin Hood. The
old classics and nothing else but what really do you expect from a
book about King Arthur?
And
then there's the writing. Oh boy, now were getting into why I dislike
this book. T.H. White's writing style, in my opinion, is sub-par at
best. The thing is that he wants to make sure that everything in the
book is visualised the way he wants it to exactly so at times he will
address you in first person saying that this is how you joust, the
techniques of jousting, famous figures of jousting and the character's
opinion of jousting. Or if the characters go into a forest he will
say that he was not talking about modern day forests and that medieval
forests are much thicker and more dense than modern forests. He will
lecture on and on and on about the most simple things so that he is
absolutely sure that you see every thing the way he wants you to (and
yes I realise that I am being completely hypocritical right now).
This breaks up the almost non-existent story and pulls you right out
of the book so that you know what's what. Why must he make everyone
see everything his way? One of the things that put the book above
other art forms is the fact that everyone perceives things differently
and no two visions are the same. Limiting the book to specifics of
visualisation is just foolish.
And
I know that this is probably because it is an old book but at times
the author used names for thing that I just didn't get and it's not
because they sound old. For example can anyone tell me what a corkindrill
is? Seriously I am asking a legitimate question. I want to know.
However
I will give credit where credit is due. There are brief moments where
the book will delve on philosophy and power that are truly amazing
pieces of literature. Though these moments are few and far between
they give a unique insight of what it means to be a leader, dealing
with being the sidekick and many more issues that are rarely touched
upon by books. However as I said before, these moments are few and
far between and don't make up for the less than perfect writing.
The
story of this book is pretty textbook stuff however another problem
with this book is that it cannot decide what it wants to be, a fictional
biography of King Arthur's life or a collection of tales about him
in chronological order. Instead of being given a real story we sort
of lazily stroll through Arthur's life without a real motive or cause.
But
the awkward thing about The Once and Future King is that it was written
in the 1950's and is considered a "classic" and the last
time I tried to read a "classic", The Fellowship of the
Ring, I gave it many of the criticisms I am giving this book. I am
thinking that I cannot share my opinion with an older generation because
they will see me as a delinquent and a ruffian just because I don't
enjoy an older style of writing, but then I remember that this is
my opinion and I shouldn't be holding it back just because a couple
of old farts read differently to me.
So
there it is my completely ignorant and stupid opinion of this book.
Send your hate mail to the email at the bottom of the page but if
you do, jusy for voicing my opinion, then go stick your head in a
barrel of shi...aving cream.
Write
to Finbar: scarf5@bigpond.com
-28/11/2009
Kuba's
Haiku Review
Ecce
Homo, by Friedrich
Nietzsche (1888)
(A
Summary)
I
am so great,
I
Am so great, I am so great,
My God! I am great!
-24/10/2009
Kuba's Haiku
Review
Austerlitz,
by W.G. Sebald (2001)
There
are books and there
Are books. Austerlitz is the
Latter of the two.
-6/10/2009
Review
by Finbar,
The Book Over-Analyser (aged 12)
The
Lion Boy,
by Zizou Corder
(Puffin, 2004)
(often available in Desire Books'
young readers section)
Ladies,
Gentlemen and Animals that can read. Welcome to my review show and
with it I am going to review, rant and blog my way to ruling the internet
mwahahahahaaaaaaa!!!! So as this is my first full fledged review it's
probably going to make no sense and be absolutely horrible. Now that's
out of the way let's get on with it.
You
join the brave and foolish Charlie Ashanti (and I am sure you just
pronounced that wrong) on his epic quest to find his parent-napped
parents. Sorry, I meant that this book is about a boy named Charlie
Ashanti who speaks Cat that goes off and joins the circus. These two
completely different plots intertwine with each other in a way that
I never thought possible because I would think that it would make
the book seem schizophrenic however it is pulled off wonderfully.
This
book also takes place in the not so distant future, but we're not
told exactly when. All we know is that petrol cars are illegal without
special permits because pretty much all the oil has run out and there
was a massive spike in children with allergies and asthma. And there's
this weird thing called The Empire. However we are only shown glimpses
of this world around them, and this gets pretty annoying.
See,
I enjoy books where the story and setting go hand in hand however
in The Lion Boy the story is like a blind man and the setting
is like a kindly stranger holding your hand and guiding you down the
street. You know something is right next to you, but you just can't
see it. Some people say that this is good and it's up for debate but
I don't buy into that. It's like if a guy told the world's funniest
joke and nobody got it but then he explained it and everybody says,
"oh that's funny I guess," but nobody laughs so
it's pointless anyway.
The
literacy style in this book is astoundingly simple yet brilliant at
the same time, as most good children's books are, however there is
this strange charm to the way the book is written that I just love.
It's similar to Roald Dahl's style of writing but darker, which fits
the air quite nicely, moving me on to my next point.
The
air of this book is almost like a Tim Burton movie. Dark, surreal
and completely unrealistic. However just like a Tim Burton movie it's
a very acquired taste and can be hated or loved depending on who's
reading it.
The
characters of this book are developed and full of personality which
is always great. Everybody from circus ringleaders and house pets
are bursting with personality and character, meaning that you never
feel bored when the book quickly cuts of to a side plot and then jumps
back without a hitch.
Then
there are the morals. Now, I have a very seesaw attitude about morals.
If they work well with the story great, but if they aren't subtle
they can seem stupidly forced and are shoved down our thoughts like
asparagus flavoured aspirin. The Lion Boy falls just short
of being to preachy, to the relief of me and all kids around the world.
However,
ignore the last 540 lines of whining because I enjoyed The Lion
Boy a lot. Its unpredictable story and quirky atmosphere caused
me to keep ploughing through it. I suggest you pick it up as soon
as you can find a copy.
-21/09/2009
